10/31/11 12:10 pm EST
In the spirit of Halloween, the scribes at Philadunkia.com were asked to review a list of eight members of the 76ers roster and pick a costume for each player to rock as they went Trick or Treating tonight.
Some of the selections are humorous. Some are sarcastic (as hell). While still others went the wishful thinking route.
So as you read through this post, try to imagine this group of Sixers dressed in the costumes we chose for them going door-to-door in your neighborhood with all the kiddies.
We think you’ ll get a laugh or two…
Tom Sunnergren — A villain in a Die Hard movie
“I decided to basically be myself: a guy who is hated by the audience and inexplicably awful at shooting,” Iguodala said. “I can do accents really well too. ‘Hey Andre. You f***ing suck!’ That was me doing someone from Philadelphia.”
Nabeel Ahmadieh — A pilot.
Once this lockout ends, most Sixers fans are hoping he can fly his way out of town.
C. Smith — Dirk
Nowitzki. Not Diggler.
Tom Sunnergren — Michael Vick
“I thought it would be fun to be a professional athlete that people in this city care about,” he said. “Or are at least familiar with.”
Nabeel Ahmadieh — Dracula.
Lou Williams is the ultimate hit or miss player. Occasionally he’ll explode for a big game that leads to a Sixers W. Other times, he’ll sucks the blood out of the team by taking unprecedented shots.
C. Smith — An outstanding gunslinger from the old west.
Sometimes Louis’ quick draw skills kill opponents. Sometimes they kill us. Either way, Louis walks away unscathed.
Tom Sunnergren — John Huntsman
“I’m used to being the best part of a deeply mediocre group,” Holiday said, explaining his costume choice. Just kidding. I don’t even know who John Huntsman is. I stole it from Grant Hill.”
Nabeel Ahmadieh — Where’s Waldo.
Due to his youth and immaturity, Jrue disappeared at times down the stretch. Consistency will be key as his NBA career progresses.
C. Smith — Iron Man.
Assuming the 2011-12 season eventually happens, the 7-6 will need Holiday’s skills on the court for every second his body can handle if they plan to go anywhere. Thus he’ll need to be practically indestructible.
Tom Sunnergren — A Transformer
“I’m the one who morphs from a washed-up, has-been into a solid veteran presence.”
Nabeel Ahmadieh — Frankenstein.
Leading the team in scoring and rebounds last season, he’s back from the dead.
C. Smith — Jesus.
Just like the son of God, Brand has risen from the dead.
Tom Sunnergren — A Philadelphia 76ers fan
Jodie Meeks didn’t come to the party. Nobody held it against him.
Nabeel Ahmadieh — Robin Hood.
We need someone amongst the bunch dressed in tights.
C. Smith — Andrew Toney
I can dream, can’t I?
Tom Sunnergren — Arnold Schwarzenegger
“Well, we’re both self-made men,” Hawes said. “And we both humiliated ourselves in Sacramento.”
Nabeel Ahmadieh — My personal favorite Disney character: Goofy.
If you’ve seen Hawes play, there’s no need for an explanation here.
C. Smith — Jackie Moon
A big, white guy, with limited basketball skills who constantly does more harm to his team then good. Will Ferrell’s character from the ABA spoof “Semi-Pro” is a perfect costume for Hawes.
Tom Sunnergren — Mareese Speights
“Who has the time to dress up every time they go around knocking on doors asking their neighbors for candy?” he explained.
Nabeel Ahmadieh — Barney.
A giggly, fat-loving, large creature; Barney has Speights’ name all over it.
C. Smith — A slutty cheerleader.
Every group needs one. Since he’s on the sideline all night anyhow, Mo gets the pom-poms.
Tom Sunnergren — Where’s Waldo?
“A lot of people say I disappear for long stretches and lack confidence,” he said. “They’re probably right, I guess.”
Nabeel Ahmadieh — The Sopranos’ Christopher Moltisanti.
Just like the Sixers management and head coach Doug Collins, Tony had a lot of hope for Christopher. Tony initially believed he can eventually take over the family, yet, Christopher just constantly gave Tony a headache (leading to Chris’ demise). The story reminds me of ET. The Sixers want/need him to become a franchise guy, outside of Philadelphia, most think he’ll fall short.
C. Smith — A Muppet.
C’mon, lighten up…I know the details behind his distinct voice are sad and that Turner battled through year’s of speech therapy as a child, but Halloween is the one time each year where his voice works beautifully when paired with the right costume.
Tom Sunnergren — Eddie Murphy
“We both started great, found our careers in the toilet a couple years later, but now look poised to bounce back,” he said. “Plus, Tower Heist is gonna be the bomb. Maybe even better than Norbit.”
Nabeel Ahmadieh — Donatello.
My favorite teenage mutant ninja turtle, for my favorite Sixers player.
C. Smith — Eddie Jordan.
Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Thad went door-to-door as the NBA coach who almost ruined his career? Second choice: Doug Collins. As a tribute to the coach who saved his career.